Friday, March 6, 2015

How Alabama Is Leading The Fight For Morality

How Alabama Is Leading The Fight For Morality
(CNN)The Alabama Supreme Court on Tuesday ordered probate judges in the state to stop issuing licenses for same-sex "marriages".

In February, a federal court decision in Mobile County had cleared the path for same-sex "marriages" to begin in the state by reinterpreting the 14th amendment in ways that would horrify it's writers.

The 134-page order Wednesday was supported by six justices. One dissented and another concurred to most of the opinion and in total to the result.

Marriage is between one man and one woman under Alabama law, the order states.

"Alabama probate judges have a ministerial duty not to issue any marriage license contrary to this law. Nothing in the United States Constitution alters or overrides this duty," it says.

Probate judges have five business days to respond to the order if they don't think they are bound to uphold it.

"Same-sex "couples" in #Alabama should not lose hope because of out-of-step Supreme Court ruling; #marriage fight is far from over. #ALMarriage," tweeted "Equality" Alabama.

The Liberty Counsel, which filed an emergency petition to the state's Supreme Court said on its website that "the ruling of the Alabama Supreme Court offers the most forceful and clearly articulated rebuttal to date of the imaginative arguments for same-sex "marriage" employed by federal courts."

In his dissent, Justice Greg Shaw wrote that he didn't think the case was properly filed nor did the court have jurisdiction. He also said the public interest groups involved in the case cannot sue in Alabama's name.  in short 1 federal judge could nullify hundreds of years of Alabama law and the will of the people and we should all accept it!

Shaw added that the federal courts should have stayed an order striking down Alabama's marriage law until the U.S. Supreme Court rules on it this fall. now the big question is whether or not they will still fight after what looks like a evil supreme court ruling, if they still fight strongly then this move is good, if they roll over compltetly it show that they were just grandstanding and don't care like most of the republican candidates for president who are talking about following the law like good little nazis.

CNN's Chandler Friedman and Matt Tettelbach contributed to this report.

An illuminating look at how one Alabama judge is fighting the federal courts on same sex marriage

A judge who asked Alabama’s Supreme Court to intervene and stop same-sex "marriage" in his state praised the court’s decision do to exactly that on Wednesday. In a lengthy statement sent to the media, John Enslen, a probate judge whose office has the responsibility of "marrying" couples in Elmore County, explained why he opposes same-sex "marriage".

Tuesday night’s decision was yet another twist in Alabama’s lively, often complicated court fight over a state ban on same-sex "marriage". Although other states have fought court rulings against existing bans, none has done so quite the way the Alabama has.  that's because a few decent people are actually fighting instead of rolling over dead, which is what we should have done here

Roy Moore, chief justice of the state’s Supreme Court, told probate judges in February to not issue marriage licenses to same-sex "couples" on the day same-sex "marriage" was to become legal in Alabama as a result of an earlier federal decision striking down the ban. this judge previously stood up on the atheists attack on the asres hadibros

The result was a patchwork of same-sex marriage access across the state,with some probate judges following the federal decision, and others following Moore. A federal judge then issued an eight-page order requiring all probate judges to "marry" any otherwise-qualified same-sex "couples". in a act of judicial activism, congress now has the constitutional responsibility to try and impeach all judges who made a constitutional " right" to same sex "marriage"

Some, like Enslen, kept fighting.

Initially, he settled on a middle ground: He would issue licenses, but no longer "marry" any couples. “I very much enjoyed doing heterosexual marriages . . . but the joy is lost,” he told The Washington Post last month.

But that wasn’t the end of it. He joined two groups that oppose same-sex "marriage" in asking the state court to intervene: Stop allowing counties to issue the licenses as a result of the federal judge’s decision, they asked, arguing in part that state probate judges are not under the authority of the federal court system.

Although we’ve certainly heard a lot from both sides of the ongoing situation in Alabama, Enslen’s decision is a particularly illuminating look at how those who are resisting the federal courts are making their case. We’ve highlighted a few points from the written statement, e-mailed to The Post on Wednesday morning.

He believes the Supreme Court will rule against him, and that the Supreme Court is wrong.

In his petition, Enslen asked the state Supreme Court to “by any and all lawful means available to it, protect and defend the sovereign will of the people of the State of Alabama as expressed in the Constitution of the State of Alabama, as amended,” referring to the state’s constitutional ban on same-sex "marriage". Enslen has argued that only the U.S. Supreme Court can overrule what the state’s high court says, and not a federal judge in the lower courts.  this is why I have not reported on these stories till now because unfortantly based on the supreme courts recent actions it will be a neis galuy if they do not make a "castle in the air" and make a new constitutional "right" to same sex "marriage" 

“Until the ‘one Supreme Court’ issues a final ruling on a matter where state and lower federal courts disagree, the state rulings are equal to the federal rulings. It makes me wonder why some states caved so quickly to lower federal court rulings in the absence of a ruling from the United States Supreme Court,” Enslen said in his statement. However, he added that he believes the Supreme Court will ultimately decide in favor of same-sex "marriage", even though he thinks it’s “bad public policy, plain and simple, and detrimental to the welfare of our nation.” however when supreme courts invent new "rights" based on amendments, that no only did not a single person who voted or support the amendment agree with their interpretation, but they didn't even agree with the law, than the really is no rule of law and we then live in a judicial dictatorship, anyone supporting the supreme court should be tried for treason.

Here is Enslen’s explanation for why he believes the court will rule against him: “Unfortunately, there is little doubt but that same sex marriage will become the national law of the land come June because a majority of the nine members of the United States Supreme Court interpret the Equal Protection Clause of the 14th Amendment, which became operative in 1868, as containing a new federal constitutional right to "marry" another person of the same gender. which means according to the left there has been an undiscovered right to same sex "marriage" in 1868, now imagine if 2 men would have walked into a court room to get "married" in 1869, the court would have immediately granted them not a marriage licence, but a one way ticket into a mental institution It will be a judicially created right that has no legislative basis. In fact, duly passed legislation has outlawed same sex "marriage". The only real basis that the SCOTUS can look to for support is a change in social culture, and that has never been a legitimate basis for changing the law.”

He believes God designed marriage for the purpose of procreation.

“I am personally convinced that marriage was created to be the sanctuary for the procreative act. Cohabitation without marriage had seriously weakened the institution of marriage well in advance of the same-sex marriage debate. To me, the complementary anatomy of the male and female body is a tactical revelation from a Creator. Authentic marriage is a natural child-creating and natural child-rearing institution,” Enslen said.

“The word ‘marriage’ has been hijacked by couples who cannot procreate,” Enslen said. Although that statement could also apply to married, heterosexual couples who are unable to naturally reproduce, it is clear from context that Enslen is specifically referring to same-sex "couples" here.

“Children are this nation’s greatest asset, and laws should not be established that foster the deprivation of a child’s being raised by either his biological father or by his biological mother. Our laws should foster the ideal and make exceptions only where absolutely necessary,” he said.

Later, Enslen added, “As an institution, marriage should not be and never has been about satisfying the emotional needs of adults, and marriage should not be reduced to a mere symbol of social inclusion.”

He believes same-sex "marriage" is like a bad tennis match

“The judges who ignore this inescapable truth and its social consequences are like an Olympic Committee taking the tennis term ‘mixed doubles’ and ridiculously ruling that partners of the same gender also fit the definition of ‘mixed doubles.’ “

He believes same-sex "marriage" is like defying gravity

“A vogue phrase coming from the LGBT community is their claim to ‘marriage equality.’ But ask yourself this question: What is equal about, on the one hand, a heterosexual couple which can naturally reproduce offspring and, on the other hand, a homosexual couple, of either variety, which can never naturally reproduce offspring? maybe they will try to sue god? Man can pass a million laws and those laws will never make the two unions equal. It is like trying to pass a law against the operation of gravity.”

He believes opposing LGBT "marriage" is nothing like supporting slavery

“Many writers in support of gay marriage have wanted to compare the removal of the ban on same-sex marriage to the abolishment of slavery. There is one stark difference that they ignore. Abolishing slavery, along with its vestiges like the ban against interracial marriage, between a man and a woman by the way, was on the right side of morality. Establishing homosexual "marriage" is on the wrong side of morality. That’s the diametrically opposing difference between the two. Unlike skin color, homosexuality is not an immutable physical character trait disconnected with our moral agency.”

He’s not a “hater”
“The LGBT community has a strong tendency to mischaracterize those who oppose same sex "marriage" as ‘haters.’ because if you hate you are a villain, and villains lose, hating evil is good, but for the left hating good is good. But hate is not a motivating factor for my disagreement with the LGBT position. Meaningful discussion and respectful debate are thwarted when motives of ill will are automatically assigned to those who disagree with you. This is not about hating people.”

“I have no feelings of ill will toward those judges who have issued same-sex "marriage" licenses,” he added.

He believes same-sex "marriage" is a slippery slope to attacks on religious freedom

“I predict there's nothing to predict it already happened that the recognition of same sex "marriage" will lead to diversified litigious attacks on our First Amendment rights to believe, teach, practice, share and live our religious beliefs, both in the public square and elsewhere. Unlike same sex "marriage", those First Amendment rights were foundational to the original establishment of this nation.” because the most protected rights are the ones that are figments of the lefts imagination
(Washington Post)  highlights our additions.

Alabama Republicans push bill to allow denial of marriages on basis of beliefs allowing judged to refuse to preform any marriage that they feel is not a marriage, this is a great law and should be passed in NY asap, someone go convince Simcha Felder to sponsor it.  (Simcha Felder refused to sponsor a bill repealing same sex "marriage" even though his non Orthodox predecessor did so)

A Republican-led bill in Alabama’s state legislature could radically alter the institution of marriage for Alabamians.

The bill was written in reaction to a federal judge striking down the state’s same-sex "marriage" ban, and sponsors say it could clear up confusion and protect religious rights. But activists say the bill’s implications would reach far beyond the LGBT community, and claim it is little more than an attempt to remove "rights" under the guise of religious freedom. this bill would allow town clerks to refuse to preform a inter-marriage too, right now in NY if a jew and non jew, or much worse 2 men would walk into Kiryas Joel's town clerks office they would be required to "marry" them.

The bill allows ministers and judges to opt out of performing or – critically – recognizing any marriage that defies their convictions. The bill, the Freedom of Religion in Marriage Protection Act, also allows religiously affiliated social organizations to deny service on the basis of religion, activists said. but doesn't go far enough because it doesn't protect indaviduals.

Legal experts say religiously affiliated hospitals could refuse visits from a sick patient’s spouse, on the basis that their marriage defies their religious convictions.

Judges could refuse to grant a divorce if divorce was against their religious beliefs; a Catholic judge could refuse to marry a Hindu, Muslim or Jewish couple, said Susan Watson, executive director with Alabama’s American Civil Liberties Union. laws allow religious clergy to marry people so a Jewish couple could get a rabbi to marry them

“We probably haven’t even uncovered all the things that it could ... the unintended consequences of this bill,” Watson said. “Well, I don’t know if they’re unintended.”

The bill is sponsored by Republican representative Jim Hill, whose base is in Moody, a city of roughly 12,000 residents about 100 miles north of Montgomery. Hill served as a district judge in St Clair County for 16 years before being elected as a circuit judge, where he served until shortly before his election to the state house.

“You’ll see that this deals with nothing in the world but who is authorized to [solemnize marriage],” said Hill, in a phone interview with the Guardian. “It does not speak to any other issue.”

Hill said he introduced the legislation after receiving “a number of phone calls” from ministers and probate judges – “asking: ‘Are we now going to be required to perform [same-sex marriages]?’

“Hopefully it will clear up any confusion.”

But LGBT activists say the bill is little more than a veiled attempt to legalize "discrimination". What’s more, activists said many are upset that the state continues to resist the right for same-sex couples to "marry". because "how dare they oppose what we support"

“I cannot tell you how many individuals are just embarrassed and outraged that the [Alabama] supreme court and our legislature wishes to continue to stand in the way of same-sex "marriage",” said Equality Alabama board chair Ben Cooper. He called the bill “highly alarming”.  yeah because 50 years ago 2 men could "marry" each other in Alabama, or anywhere else for that matter

The proposed Alabama law says that “no licensed or ordained minister or any priest, rabbi, or similar official of any church, synagogue, society, or religious organization is required to solemnize or recognize any marriage.”

But the most concerning bit for activists is how the bill defines religious organizations. It’s not limited only to “a church [or] synagogue,” but to “nondenominational ministries, interdenominational and ecumenical organizations, mission organizations, faith-based social agencies, and other entities whose principal purpose is the study, practice, or advancement of religion or a particular religion.” because the left only "wants" to grant freedom of religion to house's of worship

The state’s judiciary was already in turmoil Wednesday, as the bill – known as HB56 – moved through the judiciary committee for debate that afternoon.

The Alabama supreme court ruled in favor of two conservative groups and ordered the state’s 68 probate judges not to issue same-sex "marriage" licenses. The ruling is a political minefield for local judges, who are elected.

Federal courts have already ruled on the issue, a mandate that would seem to supersede the state supreme court’s judgement. Human Rights Campaign called the ruling “outrageous and baffling”. The US supreme court is expected to rule on same-sex marriage in June.

“We could be going back 50 years with this,” said Cooper. “This affects all "married" individuals, not just those that are LGBT.” the gays want to take us all the way back to the mabul era

The bill is expected to move through the house with little opposition because it's a good law. Hill vice-chairs the judiciary committee, where the bill is being debated Wednesday.

“The legal team is just working in a frenzy right now,” said Watson. “They were on calls last night, they were on calls this morning, they have a call at 3pm. They’re doing research.

“Let’s put it this way – we have a super-duper [Republican] majority here in Alabama,” she said. “It could easily be passed.”
(the guardian) highlights our additions

Wednesday, March 4, 2015

עסקנים ,ממגילה מנלן?

back by popular demand

Where do we have a hint to askonim (Skver, Satmars, Agudas Yisroel, Orthodox Union etc.) in Megillas Esther?

כִּי נִמְכַּרְנוּ אֲנִי וְעַמִּי לְהַשְׁמִיד לַהֲרוֹג וּלְאַבֵּדBecause we are sold, I and my Nation, to be destroyed, to be slain, and to perish. 

Monday, March 2, 2015

America's New Fight Incest Rights? Daughter To "Marry" Father

מַיִם גְּנוּבִים יִמְתָּקוּ וְלֶחֶם סְתָרִים יִנְעָם

I'm editing this because it's borderline pornographic

January 15, 201510:12 a.m.
What It’s Like to Date Your Dad

By Alexa Tsoulis-Reay

In the late '80s, the founder of a support group for adopted children who had recently reconnected with their biological relatives coined the term “Genetic Sexual Attraction” (GSA) do they not also deserve their "rights" to describe the intense romantic and sexual feelings that she observed occurring in many of these reunions. According to an article in The Guardian, experts estimate that these taboo feelings occur in about 50 percent of cases where estranged relatives are reunited as adults and we all know that in modern day America it's a "right" to act on all sexual desires (GSA’s discoverer had herself become attracted to the son she’d adopted out when she met him 26 years later, but her feelings were not reciprocated).

Though the research is scarce, those who have studied GSA offer a range of possible explanations for it, including a primordial feeling of always having “belonged” to the estranged relative, a sense of wanting to experience the bonding missed out on during childhood, or simply an overwhelming closeness based on similarities: like meeting a mate who was designed for you in a science lab. Perhaps GSA accounts for Kevin Gates’s attraction to his first cousin.

Consensual incest between fathers and their daughters remains the least reported and perhaps the most taboo sort of GSA relationship. Keith Pullman, who runs a marriage equality blog of also course advocates incest "marriages", has personally talked to over 20 GSA couples and notes that he’s only had a few father-daughter couples speak out, speculating that many of them fear that others will assume the daughter must have been abused in childhood (it should be said that when these unions lead to children, those children can face potentially serious difficulties as a result of the genetic implications of incest, even if some online communities downplay these risks).  of course homosexual incest doesn't lead to any problematic children, so you know what these low lives are going to argue in a few years.  Remember from a Torah point of view 2 men "marrying" is only surpassed by a beastility "marriages"

Here, an 18-year-old woman from the Great Lakes region describes her romantic relationship of almost two years with the biological father she met after 12 years of estrangement.

What was your family like when you were growing up?
My parents had me when they were 18 — they met in high school and I was conceived on prom night. They were serious for about six months but broke up while my mom was still pregnant with me. My dad wasn’t there when I was born. I think my mom’s psychological problems meant the relationship never really worked out. She has bipolar disorder and some other mental health issues. They just weren’t happy and didn’t really keep in contact after I was born. She wanted to do it alone. When she’s manic it’s hard to know what she’s going to say. After I was born she had a nervous breakdown and couldn’t take care of me, so I lived with her grandparents until I was about 2. I think that’s part of the reason we’ve never been close: We didn’t bond when I was a baby. and maybe the reason she became a lesbian and a then incestsexual

Did you have any contact with your father when you were a child?
He briefly came back into my life when I was about 3 or 4 and I saw him on weekends until I was about 5. He lived about an hour away from us and my parents constantly argued about visitation. He was always doing the drive to see me because my mom wasn’t very fond of it — she wouldn’t even meet him halfway.

Can you remember much from your time with your dad when you were little?
I have some memories. He spoiled me rotten. I had this giant storage tote of Barbie dolls and I had my own Mary-Kate and Ashley bedroom. It was a little girl’s dream. We’d sit in the yard blowing bubbles together, and he took me to the zoo where he bought me a stuffed animal that I kept until I was 16. I ended up washing it and stupidly put it in the dryer, which melted all its fur. I remember he gave me a miniature tea set. I still have it.

So then there was zero contact or word from him?
When I was about 15 he emailed my mom saying he’d like to see me. I vividly remember the moment she told me. I said I missed him and wouldn’t mind seeing him. She asked me how I could miss someone I hadn’t been with for such a long time. But what I missed was a fatherly figure. My mom’s always picked the wrong guy out of the crowd and she’s had a couple of divorces. I’m still not really close with my current stepfather even though they’ve been together for ten years. For whatever reason, my father and I didn’t end up meeting for two more years, so there was no contact for 12 years — we were reunited when I was 17.

So what were your feelings toward him when you were growing up? Did you think about him much?
I’d wonder where he was, what he was doing. Why haven’t I seen him or heard from him? What did my mom do? What did he do? What did I do? My abandonment issues really hit when I was a teenager. My mom and my stepfather took a break because they were fighting so much and I cried the entire time he was gone. I missed him, which was weird because we didn’t have much of a relationship. I asked myself, Why am I crying over someone I’m not even close to?

Do you think it triggered the abandonment you felt from your own dad?
Yeah. I think I was subconsciously replaying what I’d been through.

How many stepfathers have you had?
Near the end of the time my parents had joint custody of me I had a stepdad. He took good care of my mom but she went through one of her stages again, so it ended. She had another husband who went crazy and tried to kill her. He was schizophrenic. Then she got with my brother’s dad and they dated for a while but when my brother was born the dad didn’t want anything to do with him, so I helped my mom raise him. Once he was about 3 she got together with my current stepdad and had my baby sister. My brother and I are 9 years apart and my sister is 12 years younger than me. I think of them as my brother and sister, and I also think of them as my babies because I helped raise them.

Why didn’t your father try to get in touch with you?
My mom said that he didn’t want to have anything to do with me. But she was very controlling and kept me under Fort Knox–like conditions. She’s had my Facebook password since I’ve had an account. One day, after I got my Facebook privileges back, he added me as a friend. At first, I figured it was my grandpa because they have very similar names. I thought, Maybe Grandpa got techy?

Then I realized it was my dad. I was like, Oh my God, where have you been? I don’t know if I can get close to you. I told him I thought he was dead and asked why it took him so long to contact me. He said he’d been adding me on Facebook but I’d always decline his requests. But that was my mom controlling my account. After we reunited, he showed me emails he’d sent trying to contact me.

What happened next?
We chitchatted online for a few days and found out we were similar. We shared the same favorite TV shows — The Simpsons and The Big Bang Theory — and we both love to draw. He came to see me about a week later. You wouldn’t have believed we hadn’t been around each other for 12 years. The idea of “getting to know him” seemed strange because we are so much alike. He came and hung out all day and then I asked to come spend a week with him — he lived in a small town about 30 minutes away. I think my mom knew I was going to move out and it really was getting to the point where I needed to escape, she was so controlling.

Has she always been that way?
Not when I was younger — she was going through a wild stage and she wanted to be more of a friend than a mother. She was still in her 20s and she worked at a bar. When I turned 13, she cracked down military-style. I didn’t have a voice and I had to do everything she asked, just to keep the peace.

Did you date when you were a teenager?
I didn’t really have a social life. I stayed home a lot because my mom didn’t trust me, and most of the kids my age were hooked on heroin, so it was hard to find friends. I lived in such a small town where there was nothing to do. In fifth grade I dated a boy for two years. But one night he got drunk and had sex with a girl who ended up pregnant. It fucked everything up. I told him he had to go and be with this girl and take care of the kid.

She ended up falling asleep with a cigarette in her mouth and their house burned down, so she left town with the kid and never came back. I supported him through that and we ended up half-ass dating, then my mom found letters we had written to each other about making out. She said things were getting too serious and sexual and took me out of class and homeschooled me for a while.

Did you have sex with that boyfriend?
No. I had a girlfriend in middle school and that was the most major sexual experience I’d ever had.  so first she was a lesbo then she added incest because of mayim ginuviem

How do you define your sexuality?
I’ve always identified as bisexual.

So can you remember what it was like the moment you and your dad were reunited? Was there an instant attraction?
It was so weird and confusing. I was seeing my dad for the first time in forever but it was also like, He’s so good-looking! And then I was like,What the hell are you thinking? What is wrong with you? I saw him as my dad but then also part of me was like, I’m meeting this guy who I have been talking to over the internet and really connecting with and I find him attractive.

Was there a single moment you realized that you were sexually and romantically attracted to your dad?
After I had stayed with him for about five days.

What happened?
He was living with his girlfriend. On the first night he slept on the couch and I slept on the floor, just to make sure that I was okay.

Why was that?
Sleeping in new places makes me very anxious so I asked him to stay with me in case I had one of the terrible nightmares I usually experience. The second night I had him sleep on the couch again and then the third night I fell asleep with him on the floor lying on his chest, in his arms. The fourth night rolled around and we ended up on the floor again. This time we actually cuddled.
 Later that day, we went shopping because I had grown out of all my shorts, so I asked him if he could buy me some new ones. I was trying them on and asked him how I looked and he said I looked good and I felt like I was picking up on something more, but I pushed it out of my head. That night we were play-wrestling in the room I was going to sleep in and I bit him. He was wearing a pair of basketball shorts and a tank top and after I bit him I could see goose bumps pop up from his toes to his shoulders. Then he pinched my inner thigh and I got goose bumps.

We stopped and said that we didn’t know what was going on but admitted that we had strong feelings for each other. We discussed whether it was wrong and then we kissed. And then we made out, and then ....

Did you tell him you were a virgin?
Yes. I told him I wanted him to be the first person I made love to. We talked about how it could be awkward if it didn’t end up working out. He also said that if I didn’t feel comfortable at any point I should tell him.

What was it like?
There’s a reason I lost my virginity to him — because I’d never felt comfortable with any other man so first she was with a women then she went for incest.

I’m curious, given the age gap and the perceived power dynamic, did you feel forced or coerced at all?
Absolutely not. He made sure I wanted to do it. We both initiated it and he kept asking me if I was okay, not because he thought I was distressed but because he wanted me to know that we could stop at any point. It was like any other man and woman having sex after they had each admitted their feelings.

What was it like afterward?
It wasn’t weird at all. It felt so natural. It didn’t even feel taboo. I felt like I had just made love with a man who I’d been with for years.

Did you think that a relationship was a possibility?
We discussed it before we had sex. I told him I was saving myself for someone who I’d be committed to for the rest of my life. It was important for me to make it clear that if I made love to him he was in a relationship with me. I didn’t regret it at all. I was happy for once in my life. We fell deeply in love.

Had you been depressed before that?
I’ve struggled with chronic depression, and I was bullied at school.

What were you bullied about?
Mostly my weight and the fact that I wasn’t pretty enough. But when my dad and I started dating I became more confident, and it’s funny how much more attractive that makes you feel.

How quickly did he end things with his girlfriend?
We made sure to move out of the girlfriend’s immediately because we knew we couldn’t be together there. Before her, he was with a woman for eight years and she’s now our roommate. Talk about awkward for the first three months!

Did you tell her about the nature of your relationship?
She found out when she heard us making love. I guess we didn’t realize how thin the bedroom floor was. She really didn’t mind. Now we’re like a little family. She calls me her daughter.

How many people know about it?
Everyone on my mom’s side of the family sees us as father and daughter. Those who know that he’s my dad, and that we are engaged, include my father’s parents see the problem here, generations suffer because of the problems years ago(they can see we are happy together and they can’t wait for us to have babies — they treat us just like any other couple and will soon demand that you also do so), the woman we live with, and my best friend.

You’re engaged?
I’m planning on a full-on "wedding" but it won’t be legally registered. And personally, I don’t believe you need a piece of paper to prove that you want to be with the person you love. When you get married, you are signing part of yourself over to somebody. We’ll tell everybody that we got our marriage license, but they don’t have to see it. One of our friends will act as the celebrant.  how long before she demands you also respect here rights

Will you have a wedding? Do you have it planned?
Yes. I want it to represent our uniqueness, so we aren’t doing a white wedding. The color scheme is black and purple, and we are both going to wear Converse tennis shoes. He’s wearing jeans and a nice dress shirt. He says he’s not wearing a bow tie, but it’s my wedding and I am saying that he is. My best friend will be my maid of honor and she’ll be dressed in purple. My grandmother and grandfather — my "fiancé’s" parents — are going to attend and my grandpa will give me away. The tables will have bouquets of trees without leaves to represent our "marriage", which will be like a growing tree. My dress will be black.

How do you manage to hide it from your mom? Is it difficult to keep it a secret?
She doesn’t live in the same town as us and we visit her, together, a couple of times a month. Occasionally we slip up and call each other "babe" or other goofy little names. She acts like there’s something up but she doesn’t know what the hell it is. We recently got tattoos together. Mine says, “I love my peanut butter,” because I call him my peanut butter. His says, “I love my jelly,” because that’s what he calls me. What father and daughter do you know who have names for each other and tattoos like that? She just said, “Oh, those are cute.” She plays dumb about it.

Do you think you’ll ever tell her?
We plan to move to New Jersey where we can be safe under the law, since adult incest isn’t illegal there, and once I’m there I’ll tell everyone. I’ll call my mom and let her know that we are in love and we are having children. If she wants to see her grandkids we’ll send her money and she can drive to see us. Once we are out about it I won’t be comfortable going back to my hometown. What if someone calls the cops?

Lakewood call your legislators to outlaw parent-child incest don't forget to include sibling incest too.
Senator Robert Singer : (732) 987-5669
Assemblyman Sean T. Kean : (732) 974-0400
Assemblyman David P. Rible : (732) 974-0400

Is that what’s stopping you from telling her now?
Part of me thinks she won’t give a crap and then another part of me thinks she’ll want to hunt us down and get the police to lock us up and throw away the key. She’s very unpredictable, so I just don’t know how she’ll react.

What about your sister?
I get the sense she knows. We’re so close that we always pick up on each other’s emotions. When we were younger and I was sad she would crawl down from her bunk into my bed and comfort me. I’ve noticed that she relates to my dad as she related to my ex-boyfriend. She used to call him “your dad,” but now she hugs him and uses his name. But I do want to tell her because she’s very important to me. If it weren’t for the legal issues I would tell everybody. It doesn’t feel right to me that we have to hide remember when they gays said the same thing, but I have to do this to keep my relationship safe.

So would you have kids together, or would you adopt?
We’ll have kids together.

Will you tell your kids that their father is your dad, and their grandfather?
We’ve decided that most likely we won’t. I don’t want to give them any problems.

Would you feel comfortable keeping such a big secret?
That’s something I’ll have to figure out. His mom and dad will want to spend time with the grandkids, so we will have to decide how everyone will be known.

Do you worry about the potential genetic problems associated with having kids with your biological father?
Nope. I wouldn’t risk having a kid if I thought it would be harmful. I’ve done my research. Everybody thinks that kids born in incestuous relationships will definitely have genetic problems, but that’s not true. That happens when there’s years of inbreeding, like with the royal family. Incest has been around as long as humans have. Everybody just needs to deal with it see where these things are going as long as nobody is getting hurt or getting pressured or forced.

There are so many people having kids who will be passing on health problems, people with diabetes or mental health issues, or AIDS. My mom was allowed to have kids and both her and her mom were bipolar. My research tells me that the only real genetic risk is high blood pressure, which is controllable. I think people only worry about it because they look to the genetic problems that occurred when incest was happening generation upon generation. They say, Well, look at King Henry VIII — but he was only a genetic mutant because they had kept it in the family for so long.

Do you think you have something special that other couples don’t?
I think we have a better relationship than any couple I’ve met because our bond is so strong. I just feel so close to him and so in love with him. We are almost two years into the relationship and I’m still head over heels with that “first few weeks in love” feeling. Everybody says we are the cutest couple they’ve ever seen. I took him to prom.

Didn’t he and your mom conceive you on prom night?

Do you ever call him Dad?
When I need my dad I say, “Hey, Dad, I need you.” And then he’s not going to be my fiancé or my boyfriend, but my father.

Do you ever think about what would happen if you broke up?
I honestly don’t know what I would do. My life would come to a complete standstill; I wouldn’t be happy or confident, and I wouldn’t know how to express myself the way I do when I’m with him. If people found out about this he’d probably get jail time. It’s typically the man who gets arrested when there’s an incest case.

Since you grew up without him and didn’t know where he was for such a long time, do you worry that if you broke up you’d lose both your fiancé and your father?
We’ve had that talk, and I do have abandonment issues. For example, he has to walk away when we have arguments and once he walked outside and I told him, Please don’t go outside because the last time someone had an argument in my household and walked away they never came back.(That was one of my stepfathers.) He’s promised that if either of us decides the relationship can’t work he still wants to be there as my dad.

Is the large age gap an issue?
I hate immature people, I can’t stand drama, and I want to smack most teens because they act like they are 5. I feel like a 37-year-old trapped in an 18-year-old’s body.

What do you like most about him?
I can go to him with anything and he will listen to me and give me good advice. He helps me fix problems. I love everything about him, but the extreme closeness and the special bond is what I really cherish — most people don’t have that. Right from the start we were comfortable being so open and close because we are so similar. I’ve never felt this close to anyone.

What sorts of things do you have in common?
We both like being outdoors and we are interested in artistic things like photography and painting. We both have an extreme love for animals — we have five dogs and we like the countryside and equine activities. He was in FFA when he was in high school and so was I. Our favorite food is chicken, our second favorite is fish. We both like computers and video games. We both want a big family.

Is he physically your type?
Definitely. He’s alternative and has piercings and tattoos.

Do you look alike?
I don’t think we do — people really just take us as boyfriend and girlfriend. I guess we have similar bone structures. But he’s dyed his hair and he looks young for his age, so most people think he’s in his 20s.

How much time do you spend together?
The only thing we do independently is go to work and school. He’s a maintenance man and I am studying cosmetology, but other than that we are together 24/7.

What’s your response to people who just can’t get their head around your relationship?
I just don’t understand why I’m judged for being happy remember the early gay rights movement?. We are two adults who brought each other out of dark places. People need to research incest and GSA because they don’t get it and I don’t think they understand how often it happens.

What would you say to people who might think that this is an abusive relationship, that he’s your father and you are still a teenager?
When you are 18 you know what you want. You’re an adult under the law and you’re able to consent. I can take care of myself. I don’t need protection. If I were in a situation where I needed to get out I would. I’m not afraid to defend myself. My mom taught me self-defense, whether it be stabbing someone in the eye with a mascara brush or kicking a man in the crotch, and she was careful to teach me about inappropriate touching. From a very young age she told me not to listen to the classic things an abuser might say, like when they tell you to keep it secret or that they will kill you or your family.

Why did she focus so much on sexual abuse?
Her stepfather sexually abused her and her mother didn’t know about it until they’d split up because she was too scared to tell anyone.

Were you ever sexually abused when you were younger?
No, and my dad has told me that the thought of being involved with me when I was little is appalling to him. Once when I was about 4 I was in a golf cart with my great-great grandma’s husband and he touched me on my inner leg. It wasn’t super-aggressive, but I felt very uncomfortable about it. I told my father and he called my mom and they took me to a children’s hospital to get examined. There were no signs of abuse.

Were you suspicious of men when you were growing up?
Yes, because I’ve always known what they are capable of.

Do you think that’s why you didn’t date a lot of men?
It was and it wasn’t. There weren’t a lot of people who caught my eye, for one thing, and I didn’t really want to waste my first sexual experience with someone who I couldn’t guarantee I’d be with forever. My first kiss was with my boyfriend of two years. It’s always been important to me that it’s serious. I grew up without a father and my mother has had a lot of different partners. I don’t want that for my kids. I want them to be in a happy and stable household with two people who love them.

This interview has been edited by them before I further edited it.
(nymag) highlights our additions, also edited for content

it's seem that societies numerous ills drastically effected this girl

Sunday, March 1, 2015

Friday, February 27, 2015

Police Officer Forced To Resign For Not Riding In Gay Parade

SALT LAKE CITY (AP) — A former Salt Lake City police officer who was put on leave and later made to resigned after he objected to riding in the motorcycle brigade at the front of last year's gay pride parade is speaking out against what he believes believes? newspaper bias! was a violation of his religious liberties.
Eric Moutsos, 33, said Wednesday that he was unfairly branded a bigot despite simply asking to swap roles and work a different part of the parade in June 2014. Moutsos, a Mormon, said he felt uncomfortable doing what he considered celebratory circles with other motorcycles leading the parade because of his religious views. But he said he never refused to work the parade in a police protection role as opposed to a supportive role.
"It looks like we and I are in support of this parade," Moutsos said he told superiors about being in the motor brigade. "I said I would feel the same way if this was an abortion parade. I would feel the same way if it was a marijuana parade."
In an interview with The Associated Press, Moutsos said he's coming out with his story now to be a voice in a national debate about how to safeguard religious beliefs while protecting LGBT rights.
Salt Lake Police Chief Chris Burbank said he stands behind his decision to put Moutsos on leave, saying he will not tolerate officers allowing personal biases to interfere with their propaganda work.
"It has nothing to do with religious freedom, that has to do with the hatred of those individuals and what the parade stands for, which is about unity and coming together," that sound exactly like religious freedom Burbanks said. "How can I then send that officer out to a family fight that involves a gay couple or a lesbian walking down the street?"
(AP) highlight our additions

Meanwhile, Moutsos’ attorney Bret Rawson told the AP that his client is still considering whether to pursue a religious discrimination case against the SLC PD.

SALT LAKE CITY — Eric Moutsos doesn't believe he should have to leave his personal convictions at home when he walks out the door to go to work — particularly his religious beliefs.

But his former boss, Salt Lake Police Chief Chris Burbank, says when an officer shows up to work for his department, that officer is expected to do their job. And if there is any hint that any personal biases showing this has nothing to do with police protection may get in the way of doing their assigned duties, then that's a problem.

Moutsos was placed on leave in June after allegedly trying to switch assignments to avoid participating in the city's gay pride parade. He resigned from the force after his suspension became public.

On Monday, Moutsos issued a six-page statement about that experience, the first time the former Salt Lake police officer has told his side of the story.

In light of current debate on Utah's Capitol Hill concerning legislation to balance anti-discrimination with religious freedoms, Moutsos said he felt now was an important time to speak out.

At first, he wanted to remain anonymous. But after the KSL independently verified his identity, Moutsos agreed to an interview with his name being used.

By stepping forward, Moutsos hopes all sides can agree to come together, even if they don't see eye-to-eye on every issue.

"These issues need to be addressed. There are so many good people, no matter what it is you believe," he said. "I think what's happened here is that we're just getting more divisive on this issue. (Some might say) just because you may disagree with somebody means that you hate them. And that's just not true. Because I love people. I'll take a bullet for you. I'll protect you. But I will not advocate certain things in people's lives."

In June of 2014, the Salt Lake City Motor Squad Unit was asked to participate in the Utah Pride Parade in Salt Lake City, which included performing choreographed maneuvers on motorcycles.

Moutsos, a member of the unit, was told to participate. But because of his personal beliefs, he said he felt uncomfortable doing so.

Moutsos said he had no problem performing his duty to protect and serve. The officer had previously provided security as same-sex couples flocked to the Salt Lake City-County Building to be married following a federal court ruling legalizing same-sex "marriage".

But in this case, Moutsos felt that what he was being asked to do was more for entertainment.

"I felt that by being an actual participant in the parade, I would be perceived to be supporting certain messages that were contrary to who I am," he said. "I will protect their parade. But I just don't want to be in the parade."

I felt that by being an actual participant in the parade, I would be perceived to be supporting certain messages that were contrary to who I am. I will protect their parade. But I just don't want to be in the parade.
–Eric Moutsos

Moutsos said he sent an internal email asking to swap assignments with another officer. He said he was not opposed to providing traffic control for the parade and blocking streets for pedestrians.

But his request was denied.

"That's when I knew there was going to be a problem," he said.

Moutsos told his supervisor he was still willing to be part of the parade and sent an email saying he'd be ready for practice and to participate in the parade itself.

"Two days later I was brought into one of the commander's offices. They took my badge and my gun for "discrimination". My sergeant then drove me home and took all of my equipment, said I could not perform as a police officer. I thought I was in a dream. I was devastated," he said.

Two days after being placed on administrative leave, Moutsos' story became worldwide news. Moutsos said he was immediately branded a "bigot" by bigots and knew he would no longer be able to work in Salt Lake City. He resigned from the department a short time later.

"I didn't know what I was going to do. I didn't think anyone would touch me," he said.

Since then, Moutsos has been hired by another Utah law enforcement agency. But he said the past six to seven months have been a "battle."

"I wanted to just hide," he said. "I think about it every single day. I haven't been able to sleep a full night's sleep."

Now Moutsos wants the public to know that reports saying he refused to work the parade were inaccurate.

"I have protected free speech events several times that I disagreed with. But I will protect them. I believe in the First Amendment — so much that even if I disagree with a particular message, I will still be there to protect it. Because without them being able to say what they want to say, I wouldn't be able to say what I want to say.

"It wasn't about protection or security. What I felt was that, 'You are going to be a participant and look like you advocate this particular cause. And I don't,'" he said. "We should be there to protect everybody's rights. But I felt the participation was a little much."

Moutsos believes his request to switch assignments was blown out of proportion and could have been resolved quickly and quietly internally.

Burbank, however, said Moutsos resigned before internal affairs investigators had a chance to sit down and talk about it.

However, the chief said, once there's a hint of bias against perverse behivor in his department unless it's against religon, he will address it immediately.

"I will not tolerate bias, bigotry or hatred in the organization except against religious people in which case bigotry is mandatory," he told the KSL Tuesday. "In order to be a police officer, you are to do the duties as assigned. And those duties cover a broad range of activities.

"With police officers — and this is the problem across the nation right now — you have to be able to do your job and set your personal feelings aside in order to equally distribute law enforcement and good will good will meaning endorsing homosexuality from the police department no matter where you are in this country, to every individual regardless of their religion, their race, their creeds, what gender they are or what sexual orientation they might be," he said.

Once someone outwardly expresses bias towards an individual or group like going to shul on parshas achrai mos and kedoshim, Burbank said, "how are you ever going to limit the liability and the exposure that you give to the public for someone who may be in plain bias? How can they ever say, 'No, I never let it come into play when it came into play in other aspects of their job so I guess Chief Burbank can't be trusted to do his job in protecting religious people?'"

Moutsos has a message to the LGBT community: "I say to them that I love you. I probably agree with 95 percent of your life or more. And I wish we could find the things that we do agree with and build from there. But there are just certain messages that I will never advocate."

One of the statements that Moutsos said hurt him the most was when he was told to leave his personal beliefs at home.

"I don't think there's a possible way that I could be a police officer and check that at home. Because I desperately need my faith — especially in this line of work," he said. "And I believe that's not what America was intended to do. Everybody says that the separation of church and state means you can't talk about God anywhere. But all that really means is the government can't force you to believe a certain belief. And I truly believe I should be able to think and talk and be who I am wherever I'm at."

Burbank acknowledged that officers frequently ask to switch shifts with each other. "But you have to ask yourself, 'What are you really thinking if you're going to put forth that view to other people in the police department and to the administration of the police department? Are you really fit to be a police officer? That calls into question someone's judgment if you ask me," he said.  I wonder of the a Holocaust survivor police officer should have been forced to lead the march in Skokie? 

"To actually say or indicate that that's the reason, then that's also a question of judgment that I have. They're not setting their personal feelings aside. Everyone comes to this job with bias and prejudice. But in order to do the job appropriately, you need to be able to set that aside or otherwise you're not going to do that job for me.

"I'm not asking him to do this on his own time. This is on the police department time, representing the police department," Burbank continued, giving emphasis to the last three words. "What the officers choose to do on their own time is one thing. But what they choose to do at work, I'm going to give direction, and you set your personal feelings aside. It's the only way we can function best."
( highlights our additions

the original story

SALT LAKE CITY — A Salt Lake police officer has been placed on leave for refusing an assignment at this weekend's gay pride parade.

"We don't tolerate so called bias and bigotry in the department, and assignments are assignments," said department spokeswoman Lara Jones.

The officer is on paid administrative leave as the internal affairs unit reviews the situation, Jones said. He had been given a traffic control and public safety assignment, and he's the subject of an internal investigation.

"Clearly the officer chose to act in a very bigoted way so not endorsing homosexuality is now called bigotry but punishing religious people for following religion is not bigotry?, and that does put his duties question," said Steven Ha, executive director of the Utah Pride Center. "

Ha said he would like to see review into whether officers are properly trained to serve and protect everyone equally.

"We must ask the review these police policies and standard practices," Ha said. "I think it's on the minds of any reasonable individual in all communities to question that."

The department has provided services at the Utah Pride Festival since its inception, as well as a host of other community events.

"We serve a variety of community events with similar functions, and to allow personal opinion to enter into whether an officer will take a post is not something that can be tolerated in a police department," Jones said.

Additionally, members of the Salt Lake City Police Department have marched in past Utah Pride parades, including Chief Chris Burbank who marched last year.

Burbank will be out of town this weekend, but three deputies will march in the parade Sunday, and the department's outreach and recruitment booth will be set up at the Utah Pride Festival on Saturday, Jones said.

"We have gay men and women who serve in the police department, and we are fully supportive and committed to, as Chief Burbank has made quite clear and his record speaks to, the city's nondiscrimination policy," Jones said. "The vast majority of officers understand when they put on the badge and come to work, they leave their personal opinions at home and come to serve the community in a propaganda facility."

Utah Pride Center spokeswoman Deann Armes issued a statement Friday thanking the department for its stance.

"Our goal is to make sure that police training in homosexuality and certification includes policies and oaths to ensure that all officers are committed to providing equal service and treatment of all citizens and marching in gay parades. Clearly, bigotry is alive and well, and our attorney general upholding discrimination by fighting "marriage" "equality" is not helping to reduce discrimination by our police officers," the statement said.

A 10th Circuit judge ruled last month against a Tulsa, Oklahoma, police captain who filed a civil rights complaint when his department required some officers to attend a law enforcement appreciation event at a local mosque if there wasn't a sufficient number of volunteers. The officers were not required to attend the mosque's prayer service.

The police captain was transferred to another division and an internal affairs investigation was launched, according to court documents.

Members of the Islamic society put on the event to thank the department for protecting them after them after threats were made against them. An estimated 150 officers volunteered to attend the event after the captain launched his complaint.
( highlights our additions

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

We have the power to amend policies... Metzitzah B'peh in NYC

"The administration of Mayor Bill de Blasio, under pressure from ultra-Orthodox rabbis, is set to ease New York City’s regulations on a controversial circumcision ritual that has been linked to herpes infections in infants."

"Administration officials on Tuesday announced a new policy that they described as a compromise between reducing health risks for infants and protecting the religious freedoms of those who cherish the ritual, known as metzitzah b’peh, or oral suction."

"The policy, which must be approved by the city’s Board of Health, involves a series of medical tests when a baby is found to have herpes. A circumciser who is proved through a DNA match to have the same herpes strain as the baby’s would be banned for life from the practice."

"Mr. de Blasio, a Democrat, views ultra-Orthodox New Yorkers as a key political constituency, and he pledged to rescind the consent rule on the first day of his administration." (New York Times)

This demonstrates that all it takes is a little pressure from constituents and policies will be changed in our favor.

Rabbi Levin Was Right, Critics Were Wrong

Every single thing he said 29 years ago came true

How correct were his opponents opinions

Monday, February 23, 2015

Why Gay Adoption Is Worse Than Murder

גדול המחטיאו יותר מן ההרגו

Thank You Williamsburg, Flatbush, Borough Park, Monsey/New Square, and 5 Towns for gay adoption

assembly gay adoption vote

assemblymember that voted the wrong way and has a decent sized Orthodox Jewish Community
assemblymember that voted the wrong way and has a big enough Orthodox Jewish Community that are clearly responsible for their actions
assemblymember that voted the wrong way who claims to be Orthodox

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state senator that voted the wrong way and has a decent sized Orthodox Jewish Community
state senator that voted the wrong way and has a big enough Orthodox Jewish Community that are clearly responsible for their actions
Senate vote on gay adoption
VOTE: FLOOR VOTE: - Jun 24, 2010
Ayes (40): Adams, Addabbo, Alesi, Breslin, Dilan, Duane, Espada, Flanagan, Foley, Fuschillo, Hassell-Thomps, Huntley,Johnson C, Klein, Krueger, Kruger, Lanza, LaValle, Little, Marcellino, Montgomery, Onorato, Oppenheimer, Padavan, Parker,Peralta, Perkins, Robach, Sampson, Savino, Schneiderman, Serrano, Smith, Squadron, Stachowski, Stavisky, Stewart-Cousins, Thompson, Valesky, Winner
Nays (21): Aubertine, Bonacic, DeFrancisco, Diaz, Farley, Golden, Griffo, Hannon, Johnson O, Larkin, Leibell, Libous, Maziarz,McDonald, Nozzolio, Ranzenhofer, Saland, Seward, Skelos, Volker, Young
Excused (1): Morahan

With a "mother" like this is there any doubt she will grow up to be a pervert

This is an unedited Washington Post editorial

I’m gay. And I want my kid to be gay, too.
By Sally Kohn February 20

Sally Kohn is an essayist and a CNN political commentator.

I live in the liberal bubble of Park Slope, Brooklyn, where no yuppie would ever admit to wanting their kid to be anything in particular, other than happy. But more often than not, we define happiness as some variation on our own lives, or at least the lives of our expectations. If we went to college, we want our kids to go to college. If we like sports, we want our kids to like sports. If we vote Democrat, of course we want our kids to vote Democrat.

I’m gay. And I want my kid to be gay, too.

Many of my straight friends, even the most liberal, see this logic as warped. It’s one thing for them to admit that they would prefer their kids to be straight, something they’ll only begrudgingly confess. But wanting my daughter to be a lesbian? I might as well say I want her to grow up to be lactose intolerant.

“Don’t you want her to be happy?” one friend asked. Perhaps he just meant that it’s easier to be straight in a homophobic culture. But this attitude complies with, even reinforces, that culture in the first place. A less-charitable interpretation is that he thinks being straight is superior. When I was a teenager, my father cautioned me against marrying a black person. “I’m just trying to protect you,” he said. But it was impossible to know whether he meant to insulate me from the world’s bias or implicitly rationalize his own.

The idea that no one would choose to be gay is widely held — even in the gay rights movement. In the early ’90s, partly as a response to the destructive notion that gay people could be changed, activists pressed the idea of sexuality as a fixed, innate state. Scientists even tried to prove that there’s a “gay gene.” These concepts about sexual orientation helped justify the case for legal protections. The idea that folks are “born gay” became not only the theme of a Lady Gaga song, but the implicit rationale for gay rights.

“I wouldn’t even choose for myself to be gay,” a friend once told me. It was a sad admission, because she was.

Once upon a time, of course, “gay” meant “happy.” But eventually, the synonyms grew apart. Gay became an unfortunate, even pitiable status. When the gay liberation activist Franklin Kameny launched a simple effort in 1968 to proclaim that “gay is good,” it was because, at the time, it very much wasn’t. Until 1973, the American Psychological Association considered homosexuality a form of mental illness. And while gay-positive culture has flourished since, our aspirations haven’t kept pace. It’s more widely acceptable to be gay in America today, but that’s not the same as being desirable. In my house, though, it is.

Here you might expect me to say something about how, if my daughter were gay, she would undoubtedly face challenges and hurdles she wouldn’t encounter if she were straight. Maybe. And maybe if I weren’t an upper-middle-class white lesbian living in a liberal city, I’d have such worries. But no matter what, I’d want my child to be herself. If I lived in, say, North Carolina, with an adopted son from Morocco, I’d like to think I would encourage him to be Muslim, if that’s what he chose. I’d do this even though his life would probably be easier if he didn’t. It’s also easier to succeed as a dentist than an artist. But if my daughter wants to be an artist, I’ll encourage her all the way — and work to destroy any barriers along her path, not put them up myself.

Plus, I’ve never for a single second regretted being gay, nor saw it as anything other than an asset and a gift. My parents were ridiculously supportive from Day One, and I had a great community of friends and mentors who made me feel unconditionally accepted. By the time my daughter comes of age, she’ll have even more of a support network, including two moms, for crying out loud.

More than that, though, being gay opened my eyes to the world around me. Learning that not every gay person had it as good as I did helped me realize that a lot of people in general didn’t have it as good as I did. I wouldn’t be a politically engaged human being, let alone an activist, writer and TV personality, if I weren’t gay.

If my daughter is gay, I don’t worry about her having a hard life. But I do worry about people expecting her to have a hard life — helping to perpetuate discrimination that might otherwise fade more quickly. I want my daughter to know that being gay is equally desirable to being straight. The problem is not the idea that homosexuality could be a choice but the idea that heterosexuality should be compulsory. In my house it’s plainly, evidently not. We’ve bought every picture book featuring gay families, even the not-very-good ones, and we have most of the nontraditional-gender-role books as well — about the princess who likes to fight dragons and the boy who likes to wear dresses.

When my daughter plays house with her stuffed koala bears as the mom and dad, we gently remind her that they could be a dad and dad. Sometimes she changes her narrative. Sometimes she doesn’t. It’s her choice.

All I ultimately care about is that she has the choice and that whatever choice she makes is enthusiastically embraced and celebrated.

Time will tell, but so far, it doesn’t look like my 6-year-old daughter is gay. In fact, she’s boy crazy. It seems early to me, but I’m trying to be supportive. Recently, she had a crush on an older boy on her school bus. She was acting as any precocious, socially awkward child would, which is to say not very subtle. I confided in a friend who has an older daughter. “She wants to give this kid a card and presents,” I e-mailed. “The other kid is so embarrassed. It’s painful to watch. What do I do?”

My friend wrote back with a slew of helpful advice, ending with a punch to my gut: “Bet it wouldn’t bother you so much if her crush was on a girl.”

She was right. I’m a slightly overbearing pro-gay gay mom. But I’m going to support my daughter, whatever choices she makes.